First, I should have done this long ago!
So many years have gone and as I look back on all the memories, I inhale, then exhale and smile. What a life! To be able to reinvent myself over and over again has been a rollercoaster ride. I’ve spent countless hours telling myself, “I should have…” However, with every zig where I should have zagged, I ended up right where I should be. Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but wouldn’t going from point A to point B without a twist or turn be boring? What lessons would you learn if you didn’t take a ride on the adventure roller coaster?
When I was young—maybe a middle schooler—laser surgery was being introduced to the medical field. One day I was taken to the University of Utah hospital on a tour. They took our group back into a private area and showed us where they were teaching medical students how to cut with a laser using an orange as the victim. It was unreal when they asked me to step up and give it a try. I wrote my whole name in cursive into the orange. The professor bragged on my talent for the rest of the tour. It didn’t seem hard to me, but apparently back then, it was hard to find such a steady hand. Why am I telling you this story? After that tour was the first time I remember someone saying, “You should have,” and years later, these words still seem to follow me. No matter what I chose to do with my life, people said, “You should have…” If I hadn’t let go of their words, it’s possible I wouldn’t have been happy with my decisions. It sure left me questioning myself.
Currently, I am packing up and organizing my house of 23+ years. Raising three children in this house and having three businesses while here, you could say I have accumulated a few things! I should have been more organized. I should have donated more things sooner. I should have… But if I did, I wouldn’t be able to say I am the luckiest person to be able to time travel with every closet, box, and file I get to. I get to see the work each one of my boys did at school. I get to revisit the first pictures I took as a professional photographer and remember the moment I took them and how it made me feel. Dusting off the trophies I won with my horses, the one’s I raised right here, in the barn behind our home. Not all were good memories, but looking back, there were lots of great lessons learned!
Lastly, let go of the should have(s). As the rollercoaster reaches the peak and then as you begin the drop, let the wind blow your hair, raise your hands up high, and enjoy the ride! I don’t recommend hoarding and maybe I should have let go of some of these things earlier, but what is the use of saying “I should have…” and making myself feel bad? Instead, get it done and enjoy the ride. Since I have this big task in front of me, another loop or hair pin turn on the rollercoaster ride of life, I might as well relive those years that seemed to fly by too fast!
RA Anderson 